If you have been following me for any amount of time, you may have heard me talk about the tragic miscarriage I went through in January of 2025. I won’t go into all of the details, but you can find the full story in my book, The Divine Plotline. 

Before I get too far, I want to rewind a little bit to October of 2024. Our church was having a prophetic presbytery, and my husband and I were receiving prayer and a prophetic word over our lives. Part of our word consisted of our family growing, which we both shrugged off and agreed must have meant something other than our literal family growing. 

Two months later, in December of 2024, I was surprised to find out that we were pregnant. Like, REALLY surprised. We both assumed this was the fulfillment of the prophetic word we had received in October, and we were very excited for this surprise baby. 

The Loss That Sparked This Journey

Our first appointment was scheduled for January 9th of 2025. Instead of seeing the cutest little blob on the ultrasound screen, we were met with devastating news: we had lost the baby. That’s right. January 9, 2025. 

We were heartbroken and devastated. I didn’t know such heartache was possible—especially for someone I had never even met before! A piece of my heart died that day. I remember the pit in my stomach throbbing with pain—an emotional pain no medication could touch—at the death of my unborn child.

A few weeks later, my body finally released the lost pregnancy in a catastrophic way that had me facing death’s door. Thanks to God-ordained timing of my husband’s return home and the Lord Himself, I was able to make it to the hospital, rushed to surgery, and sent home for a long recovery, but the pain of the loss stuck with me. 

The Slow Work of Healing and Revelation

Over the following months, as my body and heart were healing, God met me in my grief, like He promises in Psalm 34:18, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” He began to walk me through a profound spiritual healing, which culminated in the writing of my book, The Divine Plotline. 

As the year and my book progressed and the possibility of publication came closer and closer, one (of many) question loomed over me: when should I publish this? Myself, being a planner to the gills, wanted to map out a whole publishing plan! However, as I’ve become intimately acquainted with, “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps” (Proverbs 16:9). My life embodies this truth!

When God Began to Mark the Timeline

So, I sought the Lord on when He wanted me to publish. As I spent time seeking God’s direction to this question, I kept feeling a nudging in my spirit that whispered, “The end of the year.” 

Initially, I took this as the end of 2025. However, as I talked to my mentor, Pastor Jenni, and my husband about the publication date, they both suggested January. My husband mentioned something that certainly made me think: “You should shoot for the middle of January, when people are looking to better themselves.”

As I pondered these two suggestions and wrestled with the seeming contradiction to where I felt like God was directing me (December 31, 2025), it finally clicked for me. The Lord wasn’t prompting me to the end of the calendar year of 2025. He was leading me to the end of the transformative season He had been walking me through: January 9, 2026, one year since the refining process began within me, one year since the loss of my unborn child. 

It all made sense, and I felt such peace about the publication date being January 9th. There is such spiritual significance in this date for me personally, and now it is forever memorialized in my book. 

His Mysterious Ways, His Perfect Plans

As Christians, we often hear the colloquial saying: “The Lord works in mysterious ways.” It’s become almost trivialized, like a cute saying on a bumper sticker. However, there is such beauty, truth, and power in the mysterious ways of the Lord. On January 9, 2025, I was a 33 year old woman dealing with morning sickness as I walked into the doctor’s office with hope and sauntered out of the doctor’s office with deep grief. However, God did not let me tears fall worthlessly spent. He saw them. He caught them (Psalm 56:8 “You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle…”). He treasured each tear, as it represented the cleansing transformation that was about to take place in me. On January 9, 2026, I am a 34 year old woman standing completely transformed by death, grief, health problems, and healing. 

In January 2025, I was in a hospital being rushed into emergency surgery! I spent the next month barely able to walk. And in that season of physical rest and healing, God met me, and He began to change and redirect my life in a profound way. 

Beginning 2025, I could never have envisioned myself in this position in one year’s time. Never! At that time, I had never even considered writing a book! One year later, God worked a miracle in me. He opened my eyes to spiritual truths beyond my human comprehension. He taught me profound secrets of His Word that can I can only attribute to being Holy Spirit inspired. 

Truth-Filled Encouragement for the Heavy Heart

If you’ve found yourself in a difficult season or facing a sudden and difficult turn of events, please don’t lose heart. Remember the promise of Galatians 6:9, and “don’t grow weary of doing good, for in due season [you] will reap, if [you] do not give up.” Hold fast to the goodness of God. He is a God of bringing about fruitful harvest in the lives of His kids. You truly have no idea what God can do with your situation. 

The Bible is filled with countless stories of God showing up in the midst of pain and hardship and transforming His people in the midst of that situation! I could go on and on with these stories! One of the greatest examples of this truth, in my opinion, is the story of Joseph.

In Genesis 37; 39–41; 50:20, Joseph is betrayed by his brothers, sold into slavery, falsely accused, and imprisoned for several years! Yet, God does not remove him from suffering immediately. Instead, God uses that pain to transform Joseph. He forms Joseph’s character and wisdom through the pain and injustice. In a turnaround moment, Joseph suddenly taken from prison and thrust into a position of great authority. God was positioning Joseph to preserve many lives. Joseph himself recognized this truth when he revealed himself to his brothers: “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good…” (Genesis 50:20). And this same God is still working today.

Don’t Give Up

God is not surprised by your circumstances. He is not blind to your pain. He sees you, and He is with you! Don’t give up on Him. You really truly do not know what God could be crafting within you from this painful season. 

Your timeline will look different than mine! But I stand with faith in the character of God that He will see you through to your “suddenly” moment when He turns things around, jsut like Romans 8:28 says: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” ALL things. Not “some” things. ALL things. I encourage you, brother or sister, do not lose heart. Stand in faith that someday you, too, will have your own January 9th day of remembrance. And it will be a beautiful day indeed. 

Thank you for taking time to read this. If this resonated with you, please let me know in the comments below what impacted you the most. If you have your own “January 9th Day of Rememberance,” tell me about it in the comments! I’d love to hear your story. If you need prayer, please don’t hesitate to reach out. Grace and peace be with you.